Shifting Focus


Jessa Baila

I first heard about Loveology at church. I’m not exactly sure what the circumstances were, or who else was around, but I remember begin very intrigued by the description my friend provided. I asked her if I could read it when she was finished and then shortly after, she put it in my hand with a “just get it back to me when you’re done.”

It took me a while to begin, but I remember being intrigued by the first few pages. Little did I know, this book would completely refocus my thoughts on love, marriage, relationships and sex.

In past months, I’d come to realize that my view on marriage, sex and relationships had been so skewed by pop culture and the media. I even found myself on certain occasions rooting for various situations on TV shows that I never would image condoning in my own life. I would catch myself and think why am I rooting in favor of this? I would listen to a song – I mean really listen to the lyrics and think, why am I putting this in my brain?

I began reading Loveology and found my perspective being turned back to where it all began – to who began it all: God.

John Mark Comer presents 5 parts to help the reader better understand the origins of male-female relationships: Love, Marriage, Sex, Romance, and Male and female. Each chapter orients the reader in scripture and then dives into the difference between what our culture views as appropriate and “normal” and how God originally intended for it to be.

site-thumbs_1200_0011_loveology-600x337I found myself, not only shifting my focus, but also feeling better prepared for if/when God brings the right man into my life. I found that I have been viewing marriage through a set of fairy-tale glasses, and while I will probably never gain an accurate view of marriage until I’m in one, I think the rose-colored glasses have faded a few tints.

Comer goes on to talk about the calling of marriage and the calling of singleness and how we can be called to one or the other at different times throughout our lives. So often, I have been simply waiting until the right man comes along so that I can really start my life once we’re together. This is such a blinded perspective! Right now, I am called to be single – so I am going to take advantage of all that comes with that calling. I have opportunities now that I may not have again once I am married and have children. Being single isn’t a bad thing, or a disappointing thing – it is a gift and a calling that I have on my life right now. I am hopeful it will change (sooner rather than later), but if it doesn’t, there is still so much I can do for the kingdom of God – which is why I’m here on earth to begin with.

There are so many little nuggets of awesomeness crammed into this book. I would be reading and come to think of 5 different people who would benefit from a particular passage. Usually, I am not a fan of books that aren’t novels, BUT this one was worth the time to really dig deep. It fostered thoughts, conversations, and most importantly, it fostered my relationship with God. I found myself praying new prayers and new ways to the Lord as I was reading. While this book may not be for everyone, it certainly came at the right time for me.

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